


We Have No Past

by learninghowtosmut, Vodka112



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, EXPLICIT SEX WHOOHOO HERE WE GO, F/M, Homophobia, M/M, Reincarnation, Suicide
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-30
Updated: 2018-09-30
Packaged: 2019-07-05 16:05:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 7,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15867048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/learninghowtosmut/pseuds/learninghowtosmut, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vodka112/pseuds/Vodka112
Summary: Glowing eyes are the first sign of soulmates. The power of their entwined souls, the lifetimes they’ve lived, shine through their eyes the moment they touch. However, the most important sign are the dreams: the ghosts of their shared and unshared past...Includes Past Character Death and Suicide implied through memories. The Hungary/Spain tag is for an arranged and broken engagement. WIP





	1. Present

**Author's Note:**

  * For [quirklessbunny](https://archiveofourown.org/users/quirklessbunny/gifts).



> DISCLAIMERS: I dunno how to take care of horses. Little to no research done on victorian era. Title based on ["All Through The Night" by Cyndi Lauper;](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZONKoKIQ9RY) written by Jules Shear. 
> 
> Huge THANKS to Chatte for horse grooming tips and tricks!

Lovino can feel the thumping bass from the floor up to his chest.

"Lovi! Look, over there!" Feliciano slings an arm on his shoulder and points across the room, away from the dancing bodies and towards the bar. Lovino pushes him away instantly before he notices a head of white hair, shockingly bright against the changing colors of the disco lights. Feliciano pats Lovino's shoulder once before going to the dance floor, his body already moving with the beat as he disappears in the crowd.

Lovino rolls his eyes before heading over, sticking close to the wall and avoiding people eyeing his clothes or his face. He’d worn a mesh tank top and skinny pants, both designed with a little artistic wear-and-tear. Feliciano himself is wearing a lightly printed see-through shirt with shorts cut just a bit past mid-thigh.

Gilbert has really chosen a good venue this time. The club is proud of its inclusivity and Lovino spied a couple of guys he wouldn't mind bringing home, at least for the night. Gilbert’s done ordering when Lovino reaches him. His hair’s drenched in some neon-colored liquid that glows. It’s no wonder how Lovino noticed him from afar.

"Baby Big Bro!" Gilbert hollers, the tone of his voice only slightly sluggish. He pats Lovino's back enthusiastically. "Glad you could make it!"

Lovino purses his lips side stepping back, blocking the half-hug Gilbert wanted to give him. "Happy birthday, asshole!" he greets, yelling over the music and noise.

Gilbert laughs and backs off before turning around. "Where's Lil Bro?" He's holding a glass of beer the whole time and splashes the floor around him as he turned.

"Can’t you see him? He’s right in front of you,” Lovino replies, pointing at his brother dancing with three wonderful girls, their hair flying all around.

"Oh, hell. I wanted to introduce him to my Lil Bro," Gilbert adds. He shrugs and another splash of beer lands harmlessly on his nike shoes. Then he bumps an arm on Lovino's back. Lovino lets Gilbert steer him this time towards an occupied booth.

Roderich is on Eliza's lap already, his face evidently flushed despite the dim lighting. Her hand keeps petting his hair. Francis is sucking face with another girl. There's a tanned dark-haired hunk and a pale blond muscle-y dude sitting in the other corner, contentedly sipping their drinks.

Eliza raises her hand and waves at Lovino. "Heya, Lovino! How's it hanging?"

Lovino’s lip twitch into a smile. "Good. I'm good, and you?"

"Great!" Eliza answers. Then she giggles, "Ricky's such a lightweight."

"Excuse you," Roderich protests, "I'd have you know I can drink all of you under the table!"

Lovino snorts. "With tea?" he mumbles.

Roderich glares at him, though his gaze is a bit off. "I can handle my liqueur."

"Yes, yes," Eliza replies, patting her husband on the head.

"Hey! No making out with your girlfriend on my party!" Gilbert yells at Francis, surprising Lovino. Francis actually jumps and so does his girlfriend.

"Gilbert! You're back! Did you get the drinks?" Francis asks, wiping spit and lipgloss from his mouth. He sees Lovino and beckons him closer. "Lovino! It’s good to see you! Have you met Jean?" He gestures to the girl next to him.

Lovino holds his hand out and kisses the back of Jean’s hand. “Pleased to meet you, bellissima. Please call me Lovi.”

Jean giggles and Francis laughs. She’s still in his lap, his arm around her waist and her arm around his neck. “I’m spoken for, Lovi.”

Lovino withdraws, his hand held dramatically over his chest. “You wound me, bella.” It’s all in good fun and Gilbert nudges his back again, steering him towards the new people.

“This is my Lil Bro, Ludwig. It’s a miracle he hasn’t bailed out yet,” Gilbert says, pointing a rude finger at his brother, the blonde muscular guy sitting inside the booth.

Ludwig lifts his beer in answer to his brother. “The miracle is called emotional blackmail.”

“I’m your older brother! And it’s my birthday!” Gilbert whines. His beer splashes again and Lovino twists out of the splatter zone.

A waiter comes by and delivers another round of drinks, which is when Lovino notices the group is two rounds in already. He snatches a glass in attempt to catch up.

“Hi. Do you wanna sit next to me?”

The lighthearted voice caught Lovino’s attention. Gilbert is busy giving Ludwig a noogie despite the table between them. He looks away from his drink and stares at the tan hunk sitting at the end of the booth, who scoots over and pats the seat next to him.

Lovino nods and sits down, already feeling clumsier with the drink.

“I’m Antonio. Toni, for short. May I call you Lovi?” the hunk asks, his eyes never going away from Lovino.

“Sure,” Lovino answers. He sits back and finishes his drink before he notices the bubbly feeling in his stomach. Toni’s arm is stretched over the back of his seat, his fingers tracing lazy circles on Lovino’s bare shoulder.

Antonio looks back at him and his eyes are gilded with gold.

Lovino gulps.

“Uh, you-- your eyes…” he trails off. Antonio’s face slackens with surprise.

“You-- you, too…” Antonio stammers.

“YES!” Gilbert screams and they both turn to look at him. Gilbert points at them. “I KNEW IT! Pay up!” He snaps his fingers at Francis, who reluctantly digs for his wallet.

Glowing eyes are the most obvious sign for soulmates who meet each other. The power of their souls, the lifetimes they’ve lived, shine through their eyes the moment they touch. It’s one of the common and easiest symptoms of a settling soulmate bond.

Antonio takes his arm away from Lovino’s shoulders. “Uhm, I don’t know if it’s okay--”

“I don’t mind,” Lovino says, his voice airy with wonder. He clears his throat. “I mean, it’s okay. I think I want you to.”

Antonio’s eyes are piercing, enhanced further by the golden light dancing around his iris.

“I want you to kiss me,” Lovino confesses in a rush.

Antonio blinks and then smiles. Then they lean closer to each other and share the first kiss of their joined lives.


	2. Past


    “Vino! Lord Tony’s back!” Feli called, getting his head in the stable long enough to say it. Being a footman, there was no doubt he hastens to warn the others.
    
    Lars nodded at Lovino from where he finished mucking out the next stall. The feed barrow was already prepared and he pointedly started to clear away his things. Arsehole. The Lord had taken five horses with him, all of which needed to be looked at for injuries and settled in the stables. At least Lars gathersed another tool bag for Lovino before he walked out.
    
    Lovino glared at Lar’s back and the brown horse whickered as he sets his brush aside. He gave her a gentle pat, caressing the beautiful spot of white on her head. “You are spoiled, Madam. I brushed you five minutes longer today than the last.” She whickered at him some more and he huffed in reply. “Alright. You want some food, Star?”
    
    The remaining horses stomped their feet and swished their tails as Lovino filled their feedbowls, running with the barrow, pushing his legs and straining his arms before the horses got any ideas. He grimaced after wiping his face with his sleeve. Ellie, the stocky piebald gelding, had given his favor by chewing on Lovino’s sleeve and getting drool all over it.
    
    Lovino wiped his face and his hands with the towel hanging by the door. “I don’t think the Lord found a Lady to marry,” he said aloud. Ellie neighed, stomped a bit and shook his head before going back to feeding. “Thought so.” Then Lovino went out of the stable and toward the main courtyard.
    
    He arrived just in time for the Lord’s carriage to enter the ramp spilling into the court. Lars handed him the spare bag and they got to work. Lord Anthony himself led on horseback, about three carriages from the procession. Poor Shug. Her bright cream coat was dull with road dust and Lovino could see her stagger a little, tired but pushing on. She kept trotting to Lovino the moment she noticed him. Lord Anthony halted her a few paces away and dismounted. She snorted and stomped her front feet, shaking her head and tail. Lovino hurried to calm her and take her reigns.
    
    “Good day! Oh, what a good day!” Lord Anthony greeted. Lovino spared him a glance. The man’s green eyes were alight with gaiety as he tugged his own white gloves off and addressed the head steward. “You wouldn’t believe what wonders I beheld at the castle!”
    
    Old Jerry nodded as he took the proffered gloves. Cornet gathered it from the steward’s hands in an instant and brandished a fresh one. Before Cornet could offer it, the Lord clapped his hands, the noise of it harsh and grating.
    
    “Look sharp, my men! We have guests! Lady Esther Grey, the Countess of Cavanaugh, is visiting our home!” he announces.
    
    Lovino startled and Shug snorted.
    
    “My Lord?” Old Jerry sputtered. Young Jerry immediately ran into the Manor, no doubt alerting the kitchens to additional guests.
    
    Lord Anthony only laughed. “There they land!” The footmen hurried to await the carriage as it went over the crest and into the yard.
    
    Lady Esther was magnificent, from her painted face to her bearing, delicate and steel as she exited the carriage. She was accompanied by her own servants in a separate cart, seven in all. After handing Shug to one of the younger stable boys, Lovino checked the other Manor horses. Lady Esther rode in the Lord’s carriage and Lars left Lovino to attend her horses.
    
    “Lord Salvatier, we are most humbled by your invitation,” Lady Esther said, adding a graceful curtsey that Lovino watched till one of the horses huffed at him.
    
    “It is I who are humbled, Lady Esther. Your very presence brightens this dark home,” Lord Anthony replied. He leaned down to kiss the back of her hand, his own once again covered in white. “Come, let us see what my house has prepared for us.”
    
    He led her inside and Lovino turned to lead the horses to the stables.
    


	3. Present

Antonio leads him to the dance floor and Lovino laughs. Their bodies move together, almost in sync, rubbing in places, electrifying. Lovino holds Antonio’s face in his hands and takes a long simmering kiss from his lips. People around them start hollering. Lovino ends the kiss and laughs when Antonio kisses his jaw.

When the evening ends, they stumble towards Lovino’s apartment. Kisses turn from explorative to desperate, sweet caresses to clawing tugs and quiet whimpers to moaning screams. Lovino comes with Antonio’s cock inside him, splattering the pillows with his release. Antonio holds his body close as he floats down from the high and when he’s recovered, Lovino flips them over and slides in, Antonio’s pleasured babbling leading him home.

Lovino wakes up hours later with sunlight on his face, cum on his sheets, on him, and Antonio’s chest rising and falling with deep sleep. He traces the lines on Antonio’s face, on his soulmate’s face, and laughs.


	4. Past


    Lovino first met master Anthony when he was seventeen years old. His grandfather had been the manor's head groom and he basically reared Lovino and Feliciano in the stables. Feliciano had been promoted to footman and Lovino… Well, he really loved the horses. Some of the mares had been in the stables since before he was born. So it came that Lovino stayed in the stables and apprenticed under his grandfather.
    
    Then master Anthony came back to the Manor at a ripe age of eighteen, with his slew of hunting dogs and cats and exotic birds. And also his mother, who was a Spanish countess. She'd been a very fun addition to the household, practically had Lord Albert _strung by his balls_ , but her visit lasted some four months before she swanned back to Spain. Lovino had heard Lord Albert grumbling about the weather being too dreary for the Lady.
    
    She left master Anthony.
    
    Lovino was sweeping the stable hall, minding his own business, when he was accosted by the Earl's son.
    
    "< _Good morning, Vino!_ >" Toño, as master Anthony wanted to be called, said in Spanish. Lovino rolled his eyes and leaned his chin on the broom handle. Toño had hung out at the stables since he came to the manor just to talk Lovino's head off in Spanish. The young master was so lucky Lovino could understand him well enough. "< _What should we do today?_ >"
    
    "I'm working right now. I’ll entertain you later," Lovino replied in English before he went back to sweeping, accidentally upending an empty pail. The horses stirred at the clanging noise. "I'm sorry. That was me. Shhh. Nothing's gonna harm you when I'm here." He made sure to keep his voice steady and soothing so the horses calmed down.
    
    "< _Amazing! How did you do that?_ >" Toño asked.
    
    "I didn't do anything," Lovino replied. "They chose to calm down themselves."
    
    Shug kept her head out, calling Lovino for pats. Or most likely, she thought Lovino has some sugar cubes for her.
    
    Lovino showed her his empty hands. "Shug, I don't have treats for you."
    
    Shug bobbed her head.
    
    "It's still a no, Shug."
    
    Seeing no treats coming her way, she backed away from her door.
    
    "< _That right there! You did it again!_ >" Toño exclaimed.
    
    Toño's excitable energy was starting to get to the horses. In the beginning, they hid away to the back of their stalls. Some of them were now peering out of their doors, craning their necks out to inspect their visitor. 
    
    "< _They're all so adorable, with their big dark eyes!_ >" Toño said, and before Lovino could stop him, he'd rushed to one of the colts with his hands outstretched. Muse whined and backed away, his front legs doing little hops.
    
    Lovino moved forward and elbowed Toño behind him. He held his hands out, his palms facing the horse. "Woah, Music! Take it easy. Nothing's gonna harm you here. Toño just wanted to meet you. You want to meet him too, don't you?"
    The little lord yelped. "< _Why? What did I do?_ >"
    
    "You scared him," Lovino hissed. He glared at the lad before turning back to the colt. He beckoned with a finger. "Music, come closer boy. Don't you want a pat from the nice man?"
    
    Music shuffled forward, putting his nose against Lovino's knuckles and licking his hand.
    
    "Yes. Good boy. Good Muse. How about the nice lad here? Don't you want to sniff him too?"
    
    Music craned his neck to look at Toño. He sniffed at the master's vest and then snorted. Lovino kept talking soothingly at him the whole time.
    
    "That's right. Toño won't harm you, you know that now. Yes. He's a friend too. Good boy, Muse."
    
    "< _Can I?_ >" Toño cut in, raising his hand to his waist and wriggling his fingers.
    
    Lovino nodded. "The nice man is gonna pet you now, okay? It's not scary. He just wants to be your friend, okay? There we go."
    
    Toño's eyes were wide with glee when he finally got to caress the colt's head and nose. He let out a breathy "< _Wow._ >"
    
    "You should try petting his neck, he loves that more. Don't you, Muse? You're such a good boy today. Yes."
    
    Music actually backed off and turned a bit to give Toño room to reach his neck. 
    
    "There. Your friends now aren't you? Next time he comes at you, you won't try to jump or run, will you Muse? Yes. He's your friend now. You know him now. That wasn't so hard, was it, little guy?" Lovino pats Music himself before the colt goes back to his feed.
    
    "< _Amazing. You're amazing_ ,>" Toño said.
    
    "It's nothing," Lovino replied, not looking at the master. "Next time, ask me or one of the grooms if you want to pet the horses. Music could have really hurt you there. But he won't do it again, right, Muse?" Lovino directed the last part at the colt, who swished his tail and kept on eating. Lovino smirked. "Scared-y cats, the lot of them."
    
    Toño grabbed his hand. His skin is so soft Lovino ogled at Toño for a bit.
    
    "What you did was pure magic!" Toño exclaimed in English. Lovino blinked owlishly at him. "Please, won't you teach me how to get closer to the horses? Maybe I can learn to ride one?"
    
    "S-Sure," Lovino stammered out. "I guess it's no trouble. Didn't you have horses in Spain?"
    
    "I may have neglected it in my studies. Mama, the Contessa, loves me too much sometimes. She didn't let me ride if she could help it. But she did let me keep a, uh… A bull! You know, _novillos_! It's penned in the old grazing grounds a few miles from here." His eyes went huge and seemed to shine like precious jade. "If I know how to ride, I can visit _Señor Toro_ any time I want!"
    
    Lovino cringed back. "Alright."
    
    Toño didn't let his hand go. He just started to run his fingers on the little scars. "Your hand is so calloused."
    
    Lovino sputtered. "I have work, that's all! I'm sorry my hands aren't like yours, all _soft_ and-- and… Lady-like!"
    
    Toño blinked back at him. "I didn't mean to insult. I think calluses are a sign of virtuous and hardworking men."
    
    "Okay, enough," Lovino replied as he yanked his hand back. He felt his face burning as he looked away. "I already said I'd teach you so leave off. Shoo."
    
    "Alright. It's a promise, Vino," Toño said and the tone in his voice made Lovino look back. There was something dark and satisfied in Toño's eyes that made Lovino shiver. "It's a promise."


	5. Present

The early morning sun felt good on Lovino's skin. So does the soft breeze. The grass looks greener somehow; the sky more blue. Bird song filters through the trees. 

He's still reeling from meeting his soulmate some weeks back. Antonio had driven him home the next morning with a kiss full of promise at the doorstep. Lovino found Feliciano crashed out on the couch instead of the master bed. Late brunches and work had kept him from contacting Antonio again till a couple of weeks ago, when he opened his phone and found it blown up with messages, one of which was Gilbert's obnoxious text that Romano immediately trashed and deleted. 

“Hello?! Earth to Lovino?!”

Lovino jerks out of his daze and turned to glare at his brother. “What?!”

“You were in a land, far, faaaar away,” Feliciano replies. Then he cocks his head to the side. “Watchu thinkin’ about?”

Lovino’s mind flashes back to that first night with Antonio. The heat of his body, the texture of his skin, his smell--

“I didn’t know you were thinking about that!” Feliciano cries, covering his face with his hands and miming puking his guts out. 

Lovino can feel his face go hot and he pokes his brother in the ribs. “Shut up! I wasn’t thinking about Toni till you told me to!”

“Who said anything about Toni?!” Feliciano’s face is now glowing red as well. “I can’t believe you, Lovi! On the _first_ _night_?!”

Lovino pokes his side some more. Feliciano squeals.

“You little shit. Sure, he’s mine,” Lovino says, and as the words left his lips, he knows he’s right. “He’s  _ mine _ .”

Feliciano scowls at him. “He’s a separate person too, you know? An individual? Say it with me, Lovi.”

“Don’t--”

“ _ In-- _ ”

“Don’t! I’m--!”

“ _ \--di-- _ ”

“I’m warning you--!”

“- _ -vidual _ .”

“You’re dead to me, you little shit,” Lovino growls softly under his breath as he starts to walk menacingly towards his brother. 

Feliciano giggles before dashing away like his life depended on it. Lovino runs after him. After a while, Lovino lays with his back on the ground, panting at the bright blue sky. Feliciano stumbles back to sit next to him on the grass. Lovino's mouth twitches.

"You know," Feliciano starts, "I was pretty sure I'll find my one before you do." He's not looking at Lovino, staring at the shredded grass in his fingers.

Lovino looks away. "Me too," he whispers back. Feliciano was everyone's favorite between the two of them. Lovino only has a good-looking smile. He's not a better talker and he sucks at doing anything that requires good muscle coordination. He can't count how many drinks he'd spilled on people because of his clumsiness.

But Feliciano? His brother really has it all in spades: their mother's good looks, their grandfather's carefree personality, and a knack for knowing the right thing to do at any given time. Lovino's always felt like standing next to Feliciano makes it obvious that he's only second-rate.

"I even made a speech for my  _ one _ , when I meet them, about how I'd want you to move in with us, because I wouldn’t want you to feel lonely, and after a while you'd find your one and I'll have mine; I'd never have to be alone."

Lovino turns to blink at him. 

Feliciano frowns and he turns to look into Lovino's eyes. "What am I going to do now, Lovi?"

Lovino feels the world pull tighter all around him, growing smaller as Feliciano starts crying, fat tear drops falling from his amber eyes. "Oh, shit… Uh… Feli…" Now  _ he _ wants to cry.  _ Dammit _ .

"I'm still your brother, doofus," Lovino says, his voice going weak and shaky by the end.

"I know that!" Feli yells. "I know that. And I know I have to be happy for you. I am. I do, but…"

_ No way. _

"Are you," Lovino stutters, "Are you jealous of me?"

Feliciano glares back. "I'm trying not to,  _ doofus _ ." He wipes his face with his palms.

Lovino gapes at him and he sits up so fast he got slightly dizzy. "Hold up. Hold  _ the fuck _ up. You? Jealous of me? Of my  _ one _ ?"

"I tried looking for mine, Lovi, and then you get yours by flirting with Gil's best friend! It's not--!" Feliciano gathers his legs under him and takes a deep breath. He holds it in for a moment and he lets it go with a sigh.

"No," Lovino demands. "I think you should tell me how you  _ really _ feel." He knows he's not striking the right tone and he means to. He can't be hearing this from his own brother's mouth.

"Fine! Yeah, I'm jealous you found your soulmate. I'm mad that you found yours earlier than I did. Fine, I accept that." Feliciano stands up now, pacing back and forth on the grass, his arms flailing around him. Lovino gets wind to answer him but Feliciano doesn't give him the chance. "I don't want this to be about that. I'm  _ happy _ for you, Lovi. I really am. I'm happy-- I'm  _ ecstatic _ for you and how you've brightened up a lot. But every time I try to talk to you, you always turn me away. It's always  _ 'Antonio this, Antonio that!' _ He's your soulmate, but I'm your brother. We've been together for so long, and I…"

Lovino stands up and puts his hand on Feliciano's shoulder. "I'm your brother. Nothing can change that. And you're right," he grudgingly admits, "I’ve been avoiding you."

"Why?" Feliciano asks, his eyes flowing with tears again.

"It didn't feel right. Like I was rubbing it in. We only lived in each other's pockets for  _ two decades _ , Feli. I knew you were jealous," Lovino confesses. "I… didn't know how to talk to you about it, I guess, but you're still my brother."

Feliciano takes a couple of steadying breaths and wipes his face with his dirty palms. The green and mud streaks are going to dry on his face.

"It's a big change. Antonio's going to take some getting used to," Feliciano replies. "At least he's not like that exchange student that couldn't cook."

They both put on a face at the memory of charred meals and wrecked pans.

"Yeah," Lovino agrees. "Toni's not like that.”

Feliciano frowns. "I hate that I have to share you with him now."

Lovino raises his brows high. 

Feliciano huffs. "Lovi, you won a cooking contest with great-great-grandma's lasagna recipe. Antonio had better appreciate you well or him and I are going to have words."

Lovino smirks. "Are you going to defend my honor?"

Feliciano clenches his fists and his face turning mutinous. "I'm defending you,  _ period _ , if he makes you cry--"

"Excuse me?"

The brother's turn to stare at the light-haired stranger. The man is large, really muscle-y and his face is scary.

"W-what's wrong? Do you need directions? There are maps in the pamphlets at the gate," Feliciano says, his voice shaking in a tiny bit of fear. Lovino had unknowingly stepped closer to his brother already.

The man shakes his head. "That's not what… I mean to say…" He coughed and then offered Feliciano a handkerchief. A monogrammed handkerchief. Lovino's brow rose in incredulity. "I couldn't help overhearing your argument while I was jogging. The trail is right behind the thicket there." He points to the foliage on their left. "You were crying really loudly," he says to Feliciano.

"I'm sorry," Feliciano replies, his head bowed in shame. 

Lovino jerks and blurts out, "Stop bullying my brother, asshole!"

The man jerks too and holds up both his hands in the air. "I'm not-- I didn't mean to-- Here. Please at least wipe the tears and mud off your face."

Feliciano relaxes, his shoulders going soft. "Oh! Thank you. We didn't mean to be a bother." He took the handkerchief when it's offered again and wiped his cheeks.

"It's no bother, and if you don't mind, here's my calling card. I'm in the same situation you're in. My older brother is in a triad. We can talk about it sometime."

Lovino narrows his eyes at the man as Feliciano takes the card. 

Feliciano reads the card as he thanks the man. "Thank you, mister… Beilschmidt?  _ Mr. Beilschmidt _ ?" He sounds genuinely surprised.

"Yes. Ludwig Beilschmidt." The man extends his hand for a handshake.

"Yes! I knew you looked familiar! You must be Gil's younger brother! He talks about you all the time!" Feliciano replies, holding his hand out to receive Ludwig's.

Then their eyes start glowing.

"Oh, no," Lovi mutters. "Fuck no."


	6. Past


    Here he was, crawling on his knees in the young master’s bedroom. Lovino had no idea how the man had talked him into looking for rats but here he was, not finding any. The room is absolutely spotless and smelling faintly of flowers. 
    
    "Are you sure there aren't any rats under the bed? Any droppings?" Toño asked as he supervised, standing a few feet away.
    
    Lovino grunted and shifted a bit, going to the left hand side of the bed once more. "No, sir. There isn't." 
    
    He was getting annoyed at the young master. Master Toño has the habit of lying for mischief, like how he lied to Lovino about not knowing how to ride a mount. They’d gone down to the glade to practice despite the dark clouds hanging overhead. Then master Toño lost their mounts! Lovino had to slog through the rain and mud after the terrified horses and slid down a creek. He’d broken his ankle, and then the master suddenly ‘found’ the horses and ‘mastered’ the art of horse riding to carry Lovino to the manor at top speed for healing.
    
    "Look again. To the right this time. Yes. Just like that."
    
    "Why don't you look for them then?" Lovino asked, more than a bit tired of the young master’s games. He turned around to glare at Toño and was surprised by the hungry look the man gave him. "Were you…?” Lovino let the question hang incomplete in the air. The insult was enough for the young master to have him whipped, much less dueled to the death. But Toño just kept looking at him with that same hunger. 
    
    "There's no reason not to appreciate the Maker's gifts." Toño smirked and he started walking closer. Lovino straightened up and held his palms out, inching further away. "Come now, Vino. There's no reason to be shy."
    
    Lovino’s face was burning as he let Toño hold his hands. "I don't understand what you're trying to say, young master." His voice trembled and he tried to gulp the fear down.
    
    Toño smiled at him now, indulgent as he caressed Lovino’s arm, hiking up the sleeve to get at his bare skin. "Some men like flowers. Some of them love the bees. I believe I know which one you are."
    
    Then he rested his fingers on Lovino’s lips, light as a butterfly. Lovino sighed. "What--” Lovino had to gulp against the bubbling feeling in his stomach, “What are you doing?"
    
    "Calming you down, like you taught me to do with the horses. You have no reason to fear me."
    
    When Toño leaned in, Lovino followed him too. Their lips met, soft and wet. And their lips met again and again, the push of Toño’s tongue both forceful and welcomed, so much so that Lovino forgot his station, forgot Toño’s--
    
    Lovino pushed him back, his hands resting on Toño’s chest as he tried to catch his breath. "Wait. This isn't-- We shouldn't--" 
    
    Toño clasped his hand on Lovino’s and dragged it to where his heart would be. With his other hand, he caressed Lovino’s cheek. "Vino, Do you trust me?"
    
    Lovino gulped again. He was running out of breath, as if the air around them was thin and he couldn’t think. 
    
    He breathed, "Yes," without meaning to and still…
    
    Oh, he yearned. How he desired the man before him, despite knowing the difference in their stations. He yearned.
    
    The smile that graced Toño’s face was wolf-like. Predatory. It made Lovino shiver in fear and arousal. "Perfect. I will not let you down." Then he pushed Lovino to the bed. "I will bring you to heights you have never reached before."
    
    Toño’s mouth was on his before he could blink. Lovino tried to match his hunger, his clumsy hands trying to shove through cloth to get to skin. Toño slipped his knee between Lovino’s legs and he nearly keened. Oh, he’d never known he could do that. Lovino cupped Toño’s  manhood, feeling its size and shape, and heard the man’s stuttered breath in his ear.
    
    “I thought you weren’t experienced,” Toño commented, his eyes wild on Lovino’s.
    
    “I-- I haven’t, no. You’re the first one to ask,” Lovino confessed.
    
    Toño’s eyes widened. "Oh, Vino--! You’re--!" Then he leaned in to give him an even messier kiss. He seemed to get impatient and sat up, removing that wonderful pressure from Lovino’s bucking hips. He removed the fastenings keeping his cock caged in and it jutted out of his hips, already blushing and veined. Toño grabbed his cock in his hand and gave it a firm tug.
    
    Lovino hurriedly untied his pants and yanked it halfway down his thigh. His own cock stood in all its glory, flushed and already leaking of seed. He matched Toño’s pace, whimpering and  grunting in turns.
    
    Toño settled back close, lowering his lips on Lovino’s. Then he wrapped his hand around them both. The tight ring of his fingers was exquisite. Lovino attempted to slow down his thrusts but the wet glide of their cocks made control impossible to attain.
    
    "Toño-- Toño--! I will-- It's gonna come out--" Lovino tried to warn, worrying about the mess he would make, the smell of his release--
    
    "Give yourself to me,” Toño growled and the sound seemed to travel from his chest to Lovino’s. “Come now. Give it to me, Vino."
    
    Lovino cried out loud and let go of the pressure. His hips from stop moving, even as he painted Toño’s hand with his release. Then Toño stilled and cried out himself. His release painted Lovino’s stomach as well. When they were both wrung out, Toño let go of their cocks and set his dirty hand on Lovino’s stomach, mixing their seed together. 
    
    It made Lovino shiver and his cock gave an interested twitch.
    
    Toño giggled and laid on his back next to Lovino. "Maybe you should come up to my rooms, say, every other Wednesday?"
    
    Lovino bit his lip and sat up slowly, he was still breathing like he’d run a marathon. "If you wish so, young master."
    
    But before he could get up, Toño caught his hand. "It’s a request, Vino. Not an order.”
    
    Lovino cautiously lifted his gaze and found Toño’s clean hand cradling his face. A second later, his smiling lips pressed against Lovino’s forehead. 
    
    “Vino, would you like to come by my rooms more often?" Toño asked.
    
    Lovino’s heart was still hammering in his chest. It was wrong to develop these feelings for someone he cannot have but he still yearned for more. "…yes."
    
    "Then it's settled," Toño replied. He led Lovino’s head down to his chest, cradling him in his arms as they lounged on soiled sheets. "We will enjoy ourselves, you and I. There's so much that I can teach you about giving and receiving pleasure."
    


	7. Present

Lovino actually meets Feliciano at the driveway that morning. It's a usual occurrence these days; with Feliciano wanting to spend time with Ludwig, and Lovino sleeping over at Antonio's apartment. 

"You just got here?" Lovino greeted.

"Yeah, same as you," Feliciano answered. 

They enter the house and stand by the doorway in awkward silence. 

Lovino speaks first. "So--" 

But he doesn't finish when Feliciano cuts in, "Ludwig asked me to live with him."

Lovino stared incredulously at his brother. "What?!"

Feliciano scratches the back of his neck. " He just asked me. You know, how I'm always there and all. Gilbert's moving in with Eliza and Rich so their house will be empty. I don't want him to live alone, not when I can help it. So, you see, I need to move in with him! I can make him pasta everyday and he can bake me more of those Keach-cake thingies. And, and! He says he has space in his studio for my sculpting! But of course, I'll probably make him build me a separate shed. There's no saying what we'll get up to if we're alone in a room for more than five minutes."

He laughs weakly, sneaking glances at Lovino. "Lovi? Uhm, You're really awfully quiet. Can you just, givemittomestraightifyou'reangryornahbceasuseIcan'thandlethis--"

Lovino lifts his hand, palm out and Feliciano's mouth shuts tight. Lovino takes in a couple of deep breaths but the world seems to be shrinking all the same. He wobbly makes his way to the sofa and sits, letting his body weigh him down. He takes another deep breath before covering his face and moaning low.

"Hey, Lovi, It's okay!" Feliciano says, and Lovino jerks when Feliciano touches his knee. "Oh, Lovi..."

Lovino leans forward till his head is between his knees and he takes breath after breath. Feliciano starts to rub his back. His palm is warm. It makes Lovino cry.

Feliciano makes soothing noises at him as he leans over to give him a hug.

"This is really happening, isn't it?" Lovino asked weakly, his voice trembling and wet tears fall down his cheeks.

Feliciano starts crying, too. His eyes are full of tears and he sniffs. "Brother, we were waiting for this."

"It's-- It's a lot to take in."

"Yeah."

"I don't want you to go."

"But I want to be there."

Lovino sobs. "You left me for him."

Feliciano startles at that. "What?" he asks, rubbing his eyes of tears.

"You left me for that bastard, in one of the soulmate memories."

"... I'm sorry. He shouldn't have done that."

"Yeah. but now, you're doing it too."

"Lovi, I'm not. You'll always be my big bro."


	8. Past


    Lovino was mucking the stables when Lord Anthony came in. He stopped what he was doing, bowed his head and called out, "Do you need a mount, Lord Anthony?"
    
    Lord Anthony stopped a few paces away from him. "No. I simply wished to see the horses."
    
    "Of course," Lovino replied, bowing again before continuing his chore. He replaced the manger and changed the water before moving Music back in his stall. Music tried to affectionately squish him against the wall. After escaping, he patted the horse's neck before moving to the next stall. He spied Lord Anthony talking to Shug.
    
    He finished mucking the last stall and was about to take droppings barrow out when Lord Anthony appeared by his side. He nearly jumped out of his skin. 
    
    "Lord Anthony?" he asked, with a small bow.
    
    "I wished to speak with you, privately, but you always disappear beforehand," Lord Anthony answered.
    
    "I have chores to do. That is all," Lovino said, through gritted teeth.
    
    Lord Anthony was quiet for a moment and Lovino put a hand on the barrow, thinking they were done. 
    
    "I wanted to ask your opinion about the Lady of Cavanaugh." 
    
    Lovino stilled. Yesterday’s celebration marked the fortnight since the beginning of Lady Esther’s visit. There was good beer and plenty of food. The Maestro finally unveiled the jaunty tune he kept hidden within the inner halls of the manor. The Lady herself sang while playing the harp at the private sitting room after lunch, entertaining the noble guests. She was every bit the perfect lady for the house.
    
    "She is perfect for you, Lord Anthony," Lovino replied, unable to keep the bitterness from his voice.
    
    "She is, isn't she? For a noble of my lineage," Lord Anthony commented.
    
    Lovino bit his lip. "If that is all?"
    
    "The optician is coming tomorrow." Lovino jerked his head up and stared at the man. Lord Anthony was looking right at him, his green eyes seem to pierce Lovino where he stood.
    
    The optician was coming over to prescribe gold lenses that would symbolize Lady Esther and Lord Anthony's soulmate status. It was the work around the nobles found to replicate a genuine soulmate connection. Once they declare themselves soulmates, they will share each other's social and economic power. If it was just marriage, the connection can easily be annulled or even divorced. As soulmates, they couldn't separate, nor could they be known to seek other people for lust or love. There was no such thing as separating what was now two parts of a whole.
    
    "I…" Lovino bowed, trying to hide his face. "Congratulations, Lord Anthony."
    
    "Her house is eager for our joining, considering her soulmate is the family guardsman. It would have been a low marriage for her."
    
    Lovino flinched. It wasn’t unheard of for nobles to have real soulmates outside of their public ones. The mere knowledge of the scandal could singularly ruin any good bred lady of the court. It’s a disaster in the making. "Lord Anthony--"
    
    "Won't you call me by my affectionate name, Vino? Do you really not care for me anymore?" Lord Anthony asked, taking Lovino’s chin in his gloveless hand in attempt to lift his gaze from the floor.
    
    Lovino bit his chin and dragged his scared eyes to Toño’s face. This was the youth who let him suffer forty lashes under the head steward’s watchful gaze. "Lord Albert said--"
    
    "He's not your Lord anymore. I am." There was no denying the steel in Toño’s voice. "He's gone away at Mama's wishes. I am sorry he hurt you--"
    
    Lovino pushed Toño’s hand from his face. "For good reason, Lord Anthony.” He gritted his teeth and began to turn away. “I have seen the error of my ways. Please excuse me."
    
    Toño grabbed his wrist and said, his voice gone pleading, "Vino… I still want you." 
    
    Lovino shut his eyes as Toño moved behind him. His heat was a brand against his back. The hand around his wrist was loose, his thumb circling his pulse. He could feel Toño’s breath on his shoulder, his voice smooth as he whispered. "I yearn for you. I yearn for your touch and your voice. I cannot go on without you by my side." 
    
    Lovino bit his lip.
    
    "Father has confessed to me something of great importance. Vino, will you listen to what I have to say?"
    
    Lovino shook in his place. All he wanted was to melt in the arms slowly snaking around his body. All he wanted was to fall in Toño’s embrace. "M-my Lord…?" he whimpered, not wanting to succumb, wanting the man’s affection with all of himself.
    "I only need your ears, Vino. Please."
    
    At last, Lovino nodded.
    
    "Father confessed that a couple of years after I was born, he took me here with Mama, with every intention of making the estate their home. Your grandfather was one of the groomsmen back then and his daughter recently had twins. One of them had caught my hand when we came to visit the stables and my eyes flashed golden." 
    
    Lovino turned to look at Toño, unable to believe and yet… 
    
    Toño’s face had gone soft and his eyes are glistening with unshed tears. "Lovinito…” he whispered. “It was you."
    
    Lovino’s eyes widened. "Impossible!" he yelled.
    
    Toño caught his face in his hands, caressing his ears with the tips of his fingers. “Shhh” he admonished lightly. "Esther promised to keep our secret if I let her spend time with her soulmate. Vino, we can be together, like we always wanted. May you please consider?"
    
    Lovino gulped. He could already feel the tears spilling out his eyes, his throat getting tight. "I will,” he gasped. Then he gave in to his feelings and cried. “I will, Toño."
    
    He cried in his hands. Toño took that last half-step and kissed his forehead. Lovino whimpered, "I thought I lost you forever."
    
    "I thought so as well,” Toño said, in a shaky voice, as fragile as Lovino felt himself to be. He hugged Lovino at last, laying a hand on his head so he may hide his tears on his chest. “Smile, tomatino. We're past the storm."

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoy this fic, Everett! Terribly sorry for the lateness. /dogeza
> 
> Horsenames for those interested: Ellie/Lucky - Lucius Egret/Eider (L. E.) [Gelding], Star - Starling [Mare], Shug/Sugar/Cube - Shugborough [Mare], Music/Muse/Musica - Muscicapoidea [Stallion], Donna/The Devil - Madonna Vincenzo??? [Mare], Care/Care-bear - Cerberus/Kerberos [Stallion/Gelding?]


End file.
